You sound a lot like me.

I’m far from perfect in my care-giving but I find that my relating to being a person who sometimes needs care, I tend to relate more with the people I work for(clients) then the people I work with(staff). One of my outrages about autistics being labeled unempathetic is daily observations of NT’s indifference, manipulation, disrespect and general laziness towards both clients and staff . (honestly their words of sympathy mean little when they spend half their time gossiping and texting on the cell phones when clients need attention and cares .)

When I read the quote from your staff, my first thought was that she was probably told to talk you into a bed bath and make it look like your idea/desire . That is the kind of manipulation I see daily and it does come from a deep rooted disrespect of the individuals autonomy . (I observed the same behavior towards myself as a child .)

Caregiving profession, like any power inbalance profession(medical, psychiatric, teacher), is goiing to attract a certain percentage of people who thrive on their power over others because they have little power in their own lives . The lower the wages and social esteem fo the type of job , the more likely such abuses will be over looked, (or institutionilized as the norm), as long as the staff shows up for work and fills difficult shifts . Geberally, our hardest working and most compassionate staff end up leaving or being fired for bringing up such problems or advicating for the clients . I manage to hold my position inspite of “poor social skills and making waves” simply because I work an over night postion which is hard to fill .