i like the image about the grime though.

i couldn’t keep on reading Dean Koontz’ books for that reason. i read things which indicated that he had that aspect about autistics fairly violently but also about people with mental illnesses. which, for as neurodivergent (or “odd”) a guy as he seems to be, seemed ridiculously hypocritical.

more lately it happened with Brad Warner… i am reading his books Hardcore Zen and another 2 about Soto Zen Buddhism. and he has all these great down to earth ideas… but then he used to work as a … what Dave Hingsburger was in that article before he woke up? like the people that work in group homes and whatever. but he didn’t wake up (oddly enough because Buddhism is about waking up) and he says it’s about reality. but he doesn’t see that DD people are in the same reality as he is.

and worst is that he has this autistic nephew, and he really doesn’t seem to see the kid as a person at all. which … i donno, i only have 4 buddhist friends (if i count dh) … 2 are autistic or something like it … and one rejected both dh and me for being who and what we are wired as, and another accepts us really great. so i donno, i thought Buddhists would be cool about autistics. especially with the whole reality thing and the whole, i donno, being open to the interconnectedness of, like, everthing?! it seems related, to me. LOL it would, wouldn’t it?!

I still vividly remember the first time I read a story (one of the Bobbsey Twin books) and suddenly discovered that THIS book had a minor character in it, a little girl who was deaf just like me! At first I was so excited and thrilled to find a character JUST LIKE ME in a book … but then it turned out that the girl was really only in the story to be a laughing stock. She “misunderstood” the other characters (Flo and her mother) in ways that were supposed to be amusing but didn’t even make sense if you know anything at all about how lipreading actually works in real life. For example, there was this line where the mother tells the little deaf girl that “we’ll fix you right up” (meaning they would help her settle in) and the girl says “I’m already mixed up” — but “f” doesn’t look anything like “m” on the lips so there’s no way a deaf child could have misunderstood her in that particular fashion: even as a young child myself, this was glaringly obvious to me from my own experiences with lipreading. But what was most upsetting to me is when the other two characters — major characters in the series who I was supposed to *care* about and view as lovely, likeable people to be admired — *laughed* at the deaf girl for being mixed up instead of helping her understand. I had waited for so long to find a character JUST LIKE ME in a book, so the experience felt like a profound betrayal. And it was upsetting to me that an experience that for me could be often very frustrating (ie, having difficulty understanding others, especially in a context where others don’t seem to be trying hard to enable my communication access) was simply turned into a moment of amusement for other, hearing people.

These days, the hurt I feel when I discover a disabled character (especially a deaf character) who is not portrayed in a way that makes me feel comfortable is not nearly so fresh as it was that first time, back when I was a little girl. I’m a bit better prepared for it now. But … yeah. Whether you’re “prepared” or not, it’s never pleasant to see a character you relate to closely being twisted around in ugly ways that have no connection to your actual life or the lives of people you know.