Comments on: On happiness and its appropriateness.

By: Ettina

Ettina — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 21:34:48 +0000

I have noticed I feel happiness less intensely if I restrain myself from flapping and squealing (as I do in public, out of fear). That’s one thing about the disabled youth group I attend that excites me a lot – I feel safe to stim freely. Also, even though most of the others wouldn’t really be called autistic, their body language is often more readable than most people, and one effect is greater emotion-contagion. Since the others are usually having fun as well, this amplifies my own happiness.

By: Identical behavior, contrasting responses - Ballastexistenz

Identical behavior, contrasting responses - Ballastexistenz — Wed, 05 Dec 2007 15:40:49 +0000

[…] labeled, I never dreamed that I would become afraid of as innocuous actions as lying on the floor, running around squealing in happiness, or a number of actions that were deemed totally normal in the environments I lived in. But I did […]

By: The Rat Race »

The Rat Race » — Wed, 24 Oct 2007 22:50:10 +0000

[…] me questa dovrebbe essere una lettura obbligatoria per chiunque abbia a che fare con una persona […]

By: Rachel

Rachel — Tue, 02 Oct 2007 15:34:13 +0000

Wow, I had to comment because I do all the things that andreashettle mentioned! As far as I know, I’m NT and allistic (thanks Ettina for that word!; I have a panic disorder, but that’s it as far as mental complexity) – I get weird looks from people because I sing to myself in public, and when I’m terribly surprised I make a sort of meowing sound, and when I’m very happy I will bounce up and down and clap my hands. (I also picked up, from an ex, the habit of pumping my arms and chanting “yes yes yes!” when I have triumphed at something. That’s less frequent.) And, of course, do the Snoopy dance a la Xander on Buffy.

wow. yay!

By: andreashettle

andreashettle — Fri, 28 Sep 2007 11:26:34 +0000

Thanks, Ettina — I’ll have to try to remember those terms. I know that, although some of the experiences Amanda has described are outside of my frame of reference, others (like making a phone call in 70 steps :-) ) resonnate with my experience with having ADD.

By: Ettina

Ettina — Thu, 27 Sep 2007 21:49:02 +0000

ADD isn’t NT. I think the term used for anyone who isn’t NT is neuroatypical, and anyone who isn’t autistic is allistic. ADD would be allistic neuroatypical, or maybe cousin (because it does overlap with autism).

By: andreashettle

andreashettle — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 00:32:25 +0000

I’m NT (or, if not quite NT — where does a person with ADD fit in — then at least I’m non-autistic). In public, or among people who don’t know me well, or in professional settings, I’m generally “politely restrained” in expressing happiness. But if I’m by myself or with someone who I know will be very tolerant like my partner, then I get more expressive — for example, when the last Harry Potter book was coming out, I would chant “Harry Potter! Harry Potter! Harry Potter!” and clap or wave my hands. Or sometimes if I’m really excited about something (and in private, or with just my partner) I might do a sort of a dance. My NT partner can also be pretty expressive of excitement too. We don’t flap or rock, but we express it in other ways. I don’t think I do a squeal exactly, but I guess maybe chanting a word associated with whatever I’m excited about (Harry Potter, fer instance :-) ) could be a sort of a verbal equivalent of that.

pd, I think the only thing that makes your behavior like that of a “little kid” is if you do it in public rather than in private … maybe there are NTs who don’t do any of this stuff even in private, but I’m not one of them (unless you were talking specifically about things like rocking or flapping). If there ARE NTs who really are that restrained even in private, then personally I consider that a real shame! Everyone should have a “happy dance” :-)

By: Solaesta

Solaesta — Mon, 24 Sep 2007 00:10:45 +0000

When someone emotes intensely near me, I can’t help but be highly stimulated. Just seeing really emotional body language is enough to sort of inject emotional energy into me, and sometimes that can be quite jarring, even if it’s happy energy, depending on my own mood. If everyone went around emoting intensely on a regular basis, I think I might get over-stimulated and not want to be around people. So, the social rule that encourages people to feel emotions without expressing them in a highly noticeable way, especially in public, is useful for me because it lets me tolerate being in public or around lots of people more of the time.

By: pd

pd — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 19:30:56 +0000

Oh. Yet another thing I do that is an “autistic thing.” I’m still learning. :) Don’t NTs do this??? Serious question, as it never occurred to me that everyone wouldn’t do this if happy. My happy dance involves springing up and down in one place and doing the happy squeal and clapping or rubbing my hands together or flapping them a bit, and sometimes saying “Yay! Yay!” I thought everyone in their 40s did the happy squeal. I guess I am wrong because a few months ago someone told me I was “like a little kid.”

By: Belfast

Belfast — Sun, 23 Sep 2007 14:29:28 +0000

My thought is along lines of what Evonne said (09/17) about worry over whether one looks “cool”. Seems that those who express joy are targeted by those who are expressing the opposite, cynical disdain. Showing pleasure is considered worthy of mockery, which coerces people into trying to hide or deny the enthusiasm they are experiencing. As if those who don’t care or who dislike most things are smarter & more worldly than those who find something appealing & exciting about life. I remember making some of these kind of faulty assumptions as student: pep rallies, for instance. Couldn’t imagine how anyone could have such a thing as “school spirit”, it felt fake so I was jaded towards the displays of hype. False (artificial) enthusiasm makes it harder to discern “the real thing” or take that seriously & trust it as being genuine when it happens. Have grown out of being cynical as default mode, though-feel how short life is & how important it is to find what’s “good” according to each individual.

This is a teensy little box in which to write my comment-see no preview function with which to review-guess I’ll just post…yikes.