Ironically, I feel uncomfortable about that kind of admiration even for things like coping with abuse, which really is a bad thing to experience. I don’t like the term ‘survivors’ which is used as a way of helping abused people feel ’empowered’ partly because I wonder – who are the victims? I can understand describing someone as a Holocaust survivor or whatever because many people died from the Holocaust, but most sexually abused people survive.
It also seems to me to have a sense of implying the ‘survivors’ are better than the ‘victims’ – stronger, braver, whatever.

“How easy is it to forget
The ones who walked with us, talked with us
The ones we fought alongside
They didn’t survive, they fell

They were as strong as we
But we can’t see this to be so
For it would show how little power
We had in the hour that they died.”

In the name of memory (a song)

And, it’s not your obligation to make us “happy.” If someone becomes unhappy just because you think differently from they do, then that’s their problem, not yours.

If you have “not been allowed to object” when abused, then that in itself is a violation of your rights.

Double-standards suck, whether they happen within the disability community or in any other context.

1. Some individual disabled people.

2. The unwritten hierarchy in the disability community.

Should be noted that the woman who wrote the article is pretty low on that hierarchy herself, having a condition that is still written off by some people as psychosomatic and all in people’s head, which puts it in the realm (in many people’s eyes) of a psychiatric condition or even just a moral/ethical problem in an otherwise “healthy” person, which puts it down at or near the bottom along with autistic people and people with intellectual disabilities. Like you, she’s had her condition mostly attributed to personality traits rather than to anything “real”.