Comments on: On the other hand…

By: Rachel Silver

Rachel Silver — Sun, 19 Aug 2007 20:49:33 +0000

The silliest thing is to NOT talk to animals. I carry on regular and animated conversations with my two Siamese, who have an astonishing range of vocalizations that they use in reply. They know their names, they know what “no” means, and the fact that they don’t always do as I say means simply that they’re ignoring me — not that they don’t hear and understand me.

This phenomenon is not limited to Siamese by the way, nor to just the animals who live with me. Nor to me. My boyfriend, who is highly allergic to both cats and dogs, wouldn’t even look them in the eye when we first started dating. Now we live together (thanks to a fabulous air cleaner and HEPA vac), and he has an amazing bond with one of my cats, whom he talks to constantly. While the cats are technically not allowed in either our bedroom or the boyfriend’s office, I keep catching them in both places, because boyfriend has let them in there. His explanation is that, “Well, I told them they could come in if they stayed on the office chair (or the windowsill), and they’re good boys.” While they certainly wouldn’t put up with such restrictions from me, they do seem to listen to him. Weird, huh?

By: Julia

Julia — Fri, 10 Aug 2007 14:26:06 +0000

I always talked to my dogs.

I have a friend who had a cat, part Siamese, who would meow a lot whenever I came over. So I’d talk to her. She’d meow, I’d say something, she’d meow some more, it was lovely. Her human was highly amused and just loved watching when I came over.

But what else do you do to a cat that’s looking at you and meowing?

(I apologize to the cats I don’t let in my lap — I’m allergic and it’s one thing to be in the same room with the cat, another to have it on me.)

By: Sarah

Sarah — Fri, 03 Aug 2007 03:00:45 +0000

My dog Charlie has the same status as a human being. Everyone I interact with treats him that way. He was a rescue Jack Russell who has since become my assist dog. He tells me when there are changes in my environment…..phone, washer, dryer, microwave, boiling pots ect. He woke me up at 4 am because the hot water heater was going to blow up. I got to it first and shut it down, killed the gas, drained it out.

I talk to him, and I believe he basically understands me. Not to say he works calculus, that is my job-but he certainly has his own wisdom and I am safer for it.

~Sarah

By: Evonne

Evonne — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 21:09:46 +0000

Ah. Gotcha. I guess I didn’t gather that the conversation was over the phone. Well, that’s extra jerky of *that* guy, then, ’cause he doesn’t have any basis for claiming that he’d ever “respected” you. And you’d think the guy who works the phone would have some experience in dealing with, ahem, emergencies.

By: ballastexistenz

ballastexistenz — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 21:00:41 +0000

Not the same guy.

The guy in the previous post works the phones on a system that helps me at night from a distance (sometimes people come out, but they are not the people who answer the phone).

The guy in this post works directly with me on a daily basis every evening (and is here right now).

By: Evonne

Evonne — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 20:09:01 +0000

This is not the same guy from the previous post, right? ‘Cause if it is, oh, do I have an intellectual ramble for you! I’m pretty sure it’s not the same guy; you said the first guy works at night and this guy works in the afternoon, but for a second I thought it was the same guy, and that you were giving the guy credit for usually acting decently while incidentally acting like a jerk. I hope it’s not the same guy, both for your sake and for the sake of my cerebral stamina . . . ’cause, oh, the dynamics if it were!

By: Rachel Hibberd

Rachel Hibberd — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 19:26:37 +0000

One of the things I loved about an old boyfriend was the way he would approach animals. If the cat Grendel was in his chair, he would look pained and say, “Grendel, I need to sit there.” Then he would hem and haw and finally resort to actually picking up a disgruntled Grendel and depositing him on the floor. This is exactly how he would react if a human was in his way– he would feel awkward, say something very politely, and wait. Even though it might not have made a big difference to Grendel (who usually refused to even wake up until picked up), to me it showed that he was sort of assuming Grendel’s personhood rather than seeing him as some kind of fluffy object.

By: Mountainrose

Mountainrose — Wed, 01 Aug 2007 03:01:46 +0000

I have a friend who told her adult daughters that when they are thinking of dating a man that should first look at how he treats pets…as in he might be on good behavior trying to impress the girl he wants to date but how he treats pets might be closer to his real self…I thought that pretty astute advice….I actually knew a couple who were very affectionate with their pets but actually seemed somewhat cold with their children…I found that quite odd and I think it was uniquely so….I do think a lot is revealed by how someone relates to their pets. I always liked the sign I saw once that declared that the pets lived in the house and were allowed on the furniture and if the visitor had a problem with that then they should realize the pets were there first!…We have two dogs, one with hip displaysia and they have orthopedic doggy beds all over the place…That is so they can comfortably be with us wherever we are…We have a couple of pads outside as well…all home made…

By: Eleanor

Eleanor — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 22:09:46 +0000

I agree that in most places, the qualifications and training for aide jobs is almost non-existent. These are generally entry level, low-paid jobs with high turnover. Not to mention hard work if you’re doing them right!

But back to pets–Do you mean that there are people out there that DON’T talk to their dogs and cats? Hmmm. Maybe they are the ones that always look at me funny…

By: andreashettle

andreashettle — Tue, 31 Jul 2007 21:26:15 +0000

n., if you mean “makes sense” in the moral/ethical sense of the phrase, then it doesn’t at all.

Of course I assume you meant “makes sense” intellectually, in which case it’s clear at least to me. And, unfortunately, consistent with the impressions I’ve also gathered (though I don’t have first hand experience either).

These factors in institutional settings are probably part of what contributes to the abusive atmosphere that many of them tend to have — both in the sense of of the word “abusive” that most people recognize (physical, sexual) and also the verbal/emotional and “playing mind games” kind of way that Amanda has described so eloquently in, as just one example, “Outposts in Our Heads.