Comments on: If you recognize me.

By: Karen Putz

Karen Putz — Wed, 10 Oct 2007 12:59:30 +0000

bullet: Deaf people do exactly as you describe all the time … in fact, someone has even apparently coined a phrase for it, called “social bluffing” — try googling it!

Yup– that was me who coined that phrase. You can read more here:
http://www.handsandvoices.org/articles/SocEmot/V9-4_bluff.htm

By: Brian

Brian — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 21:35:17 +0000

Thank you for the heads up. As you made clear, you realize that many people who are going to stop you in public do not read your blog and have little knowledge of how you communicate. You want to walk away, but you are not adept at conveying that feeling.

So, you have done one useful thing. You told us a little more about yourself. In the event that one of your net-acquaintances sees you at a common place, they will know to give you an opportunity to say whether you have time to chat? Is that the objective? Or do you want people to just wave, say “Hi Amanda”, and walk away?

On the other hand, I am not sure if you need to be reminded that your escort’s absence contributed to you missing the bank and missing your mask cleaning. Next time (and there will be a next time), know the value of your staff: don’t leave them!

By: Baba Yaga

Baba Yaga — Sat, 23 Jun 2007 13:43:31 +0000

Urgh. While reading your post I had a flash of two people running on ‘this is what I’m supposed to do’ scripts, and stuck in a conversation neither wants to be in and neither can end/ think of ending.

Getting out of conversations. I tend to get into a loop, saying the same thing over and over again. Or the same ‘filler’ in different words over and over again. But as best I can read, that seems to pass for continuing conversation.

By: ballastexistenz

ballastexistenz — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 20:36:43 +0000

When Joel and I first met, we had at least 24 hours of conversation straight. We used a laptop with two keyboards and two monitors and stunned my staff when she came in in the morning and neither of us had slept.

By: Samantha

Samantha — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 20:34:43 +0000

“I have a very hard time getting out of conversations….When I’m concentrating on talking to someone I have a really hard time simultaneously figuring out how to stop talking to someone and why to stop talking to someone (or why to do anything for that matter).”

That sounds so much like my husband. I’ve often contemplated kicking him in the shin to get him out of a conversation that has gone on too long. I usually just settle for a poke in the ribs (which doesn’t always work). Our friends are often kind enough to point out to him that I’m trying to get his attention.

We have a friend who is undiagnosed but clearly on the spectrum and he has difficulties with conversations as well. He can’t end a conversation even when you tell him that the conversation needs to end. When he and my husband got to talking neither of them would get anything accomplished. Now they communicate electronically which seems to help a lot.

By: laurentius-rex

laurentius-rex — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 00:36:45 +0000

I wouldn’t worry if a fan met David Beckham (presuming by now the US knows who he is) on the street they would not really expect to get a civil interaction.

If you approach me because you have seen my picture on the web or on video and you don’t get a reaction, chances are you were speaking to my brother :)

My brother and I are quite used to being accosted by people who can’t tell us apart.

By: andreashettle

andreashettle — Wed, 20 Jun 2007 00:07:18 +0000

bullet: Deaf people do exactly as you describe all the time … in fact, someone has even apparently coined a phrase for it, called “social bluffing” — try googling it!

By: MountainRose

MountainRose — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 22:53:01 +0000

Maybe you could have a rote answer stored on your
voice synthesizer for such times that you could just press that says something like, “I would
like to talk more but I have an appt I need to get to..It was nice meeting you..” What the appt. is does not need to be explained…and you have acknowledged the person in a kind way….

By: bullet

bullet — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 22:53:00 +0000

Sometimes (about twice a month or twice a day dependant on how thigs are going) I lose understanding of language. So not enough to be a real concern, but enough that I am now an expert on smiling and nodding and hoping someone hasn’t told me their beloved pet slug has died. I hate getting sucked into conversations as well, sometimes I do accidentally forget and just wander off, other times I try and keep going. And a lot of the time it’s fine, but sometimes I need time on my own. I take my youngest lad to a toddler group every Tuesday morning and with a load of under threes it gets a tad noisy. But it’s ok, I’ve got a nice little trick called daydreaming and though I can’t switch off completely as I have to keep an eye on my lad, I can switch off a lot which helps. But not when someone comes over and starts talking and whilst I like the person I wish I could politely say sometimes that I just need a bit of time to myself.
If it’s any consolation on the unlikely chance I would meet you (me living in the UK, you in the USA) I would probably not recognise you and if I did I wouldn’t have the confidence to approach you.

By: Joeymom

Joeymom — Tue, 19 Jun 2007 22:39:35 +0000

Oh, I have “Tell Me Your Life Story” stamped across my forehead, and I’m not even famous. I should write a book, “Adventures in Grocery Shopping.” Many a day I have not made it to the bank or the store or made a call because someone was telling me all about it, and time ran out before the next appointment or I had to be home to get Joey off the bus- often on the only day I had a minute to do such chores for weeks. Annoying- but I’ve heard some interesting life stories that way.