Take care!

Point well taken. Although, I actually misworded my statement “…when dealing with straight males”. I should have said “…when making characterizations regarding straight males”.

I was taking exception to your stereotype of straights either being afraid of homosexual males, or being in fear that they are really homosexual themselves. That’s all. I hadn’t come to any conclusions as to your sexual preference because a. you never stated any preference, and b. I could quite frankly care less, as it isn’t relevant to what is being discussed.

Sorry you took it that I was assuming you were homosexual when you are straight. I hope this clears it up.

You said: “One can make observations about a group from within it, even if those observations aren’t flattering to many people in that group.”

I’m not sure if by group you mean the group of commenters that visit here often, or some other web group, or all males as a whole. Either way, you can make observations until the cows come home, what you can’t do (and be correct) is apply your conclusions to EVERYONE in that group. And that is what your stereotypical statement regarding straight males is doing and that is why I took exception with it.

(The idea that most fanfiction is slash really isn’t and has never been true, in most genres– we used to write fanfiction, and never really encountered the overwhelming dominance of slash that some people claim exists– but it definitely is out there, and kind of hard to miss if you get into the writing scene for a particular fandom very much.)

One can make observations about a group from within it, even if those observations aren’t flattering to many people in that group.

My experiences of the gay community mirror Amanda’s, (except for the off-putting part). I always assumed this was for the following reasons: being a gay male, I’m attracted to the same activities that other gay males are attracted to, and gay men tend to socialize with each other, for obvious reasons. I also believe that, (and I’ve seen some evidence of this, and it’s been confirmed by gay women), gay women tend to keep to themselves. Thus, gay social events open to both men and women tend to be mostly men. This appears to be less true within gay advocacy/political groups, (in my limited experience).

My observation is that, when gay women branch out into a wider community, it’s to the community of women, (both straight and gay), rather than the gay community, (both men and women).

There’s a simple, economic reason for why gay bars, business, etc., cater to gay men: the guys have the money. Gay women understandably find this off-putting, which only perpetuates matters, since they’ll withdraw.

What is a “slash fanfiction writer?”

You said:

” I think most ostensibly-straight American men, anyway, have trouble disentangling their perceptions of gay men from their fear of them, and fear that they might be gay themselves.”

As a “straight” male, I can gladly report that neither am I “afraid” of gay men, nor am I laboring under the delusion that I might be just gay, myself.

It would behove you to lose such lame rationale when dealing with straight males. : )

…of course, coming out as a gay male celebrity is a quick way to earn fans with slash fanfiction writers, but on the other hand, they’ll write about just about anyone, I think, even if you’re visibly and obviously straight.

Most of the local LGBT groups we’ve been to did seem to have a higher ratio of males than females. And when people speak of “the gay community” in general, they usually are referring to men; lesbians end up forgotten or ignored. Even the Castro District is really about men; most of the shops are owned by and cater to men; you do see lesbian couples there, but they’re a definite minority. (At least, if it’s changed since 1999 or 2000, the last time we ever went there, we haven’t heard.)

Something that occured to me as I read this posting: well, the first thing that occured to me was I thought “dominated” would have been a better word than “overrun.” I not sure that there are *more* women autistic bloggers on the web; I just think they dominate.

But what occured to me as I read those words is that the same thing seems to be happening in gay advocacy. You have Rosie O’Donnell, Ellen DeGeneres and Mellissa Etheridge, for instance. In certain circles, you only need to mention their first names to know who they are. I’m hard pressed to come up with three names of male celebrity gay advocates who’ve done as much as these three women, (and if you only consider Americans, it’s even harder).

Something tells me that the reasons for *why* this is so for both autistics and gays are similar.

alternatively you could start with a picture, and i don’t mean one of you unless you are comfortable with that… maybe just a photo that you took recently of some place or some image that means something to you. i suggest this only if that is the kind of thing that helps you start writing. it doesn’t to everyone.

my blog only really got going when i used it to post the pictures i made for illustrationfriday, but then mine is anything but an activist blog, although i admire activist blogs.