Comments on: Pseudo-allies and one reason many auties have trouble spotting them.

By: one of me » links for 2006-12-16

one of me » links for 2006-12-16 — Sun, 14 Jan 2007 20:07:46 +0000

[…] Ballastexistenz » Blog Archive » Pseudo-allies and one reason many auties have trouble spotting them. “…instead of assisting autistic people to run our own organizations, our “allies” decide […] that they make better decisions than we do […] and very much disliking it if an autistic person starts questioning their sudden presumed authority.” (tags: Autism Allies Treatment Pseudo-Allies) […]

By: The Life and Times of Emma

The Life and Times of Emma — Thu, 11 Jan 2007 14:23:46 +0000

[…] Wheelchair Dancer presents What Happened to You and In Your Face: Answering Questions posted at Wheelchair Dancer. The first of these posts covers that age old question people love to ask and the second what it’s like to be in a relationship where one of you is disabled. Ballastexistenz from Ballastexistenz has an interesting discussion on Pseudo-Allies and One Reason Many Auties have Trouble Spotting on them Lorraine Hershon from Keep Buggering On!! (which seriously is the best blog name I’ve seen in a long time) wrote Watch Out!!! which reminds me of why I hate walking across busy carparks when I’m alone in my chair. I’d like to be able to say her entry shows human life at it’s best but well, I can’t. In fact it makes me want to hit the people involved. […]

By: Tophet

Tophet — Sat, 06 Jan 2007 11:40:01 +0000

I gave up a full time unbenefitted job on the theory that MA Rehab would help me find something better. Then I had the flu, a trip to the hospital, uncooperative staff that left me unattended and doubled over with abdominal pain for 3 and a half hours, a vitriolic rant at a nurse who finally came and suggested the pain I experienced was mostly in my head (I threatened to leave and suggested people could sue for such lack of treatment, etc. She was dropping a hint that I was in their custody and had better shut up, otherwise my case might be more psychiatric than physical because I was “out of control”), a lengthy grilling by three other nurses about my sex life and other sh*t, after which I was involuntarily invited to stay as their guest. After I was released (hours rather than days later, thanks to the fact that HMOs are cheap – blessings come from unexpected places), the MA Rehab guy I was working with decided an unpaid internship at Hewlett Packard (where I was actually learning) was not for me, that I wasn’t “ready for work” and that I should be trained as a caterer so I could work for them. Yay! Restaurant minimum wage is less than half the regular minimum wage and do you know ANY caterers who get tips? If this wasn’t a vulture situation, what is? He knew that I had a state “record”, that I would be monitored, and that future employers be “notified” of my “psychiatric condition” for a period of time. Because of my AS, not reading a social cue while doubled over in pain(the nurse’s warning), and not realizing social boundaries (as I was grilled by three psychiatric nurses), got me into deep trouble. Now, the ONLY respect I get is from my fellow Aspies and Autistics. It is to them, now, that I owe my allegiance, my Randallegiance.

By: Requiem II » Sly Civilian

Requiem II » Sly Civilian — Fri, 29 Dec 2006 14:09:27 +0000

[…] We’re just getting started. Consumerist movements have been around for a while, but all in all, my sense is that disabilities organizing is at a place of possibility. Mental health communities have been historically problematic to organize, because of the strong potential to get overtaken by “concerned” outsiders. […]

By: laurentius-rex

laurentius-rex — Sun, 17 Dec 2006 16:45:34 +0000

I have my own issues about all this that I have vented elsewhere about all this adulation about the latest crop of autexploitation, by the Grinkers and Nadesans of the world. I see there works as ultimately paternalistic and patronising, doing the explaining for us, taking up the “airspace” that should be ours and as always doing the talking for us. Why no-one else seems to see it my why I don’t know?

By: n.

n. — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 23:05:04 +0000

AB: I just read your presentation that KathyGrant mentioned, and it relates to this post, becos of the do-gooders part, among others.
Uf, at the moment of doing final course grades, this is making me think some (as much as my math-scattered brain can manage but more than I want to) about power relationships in my classroom.

By: Julia

Julia — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 22:45:00 +0000

The “good” vs. “bad” reminds me of a time I was almost molested — the perp tried it on my friend, without my realizing what was going on, then tried it on me saying I was “good” and she wasn’t.

Brrrrrr.

That thing about “good” auties and “bad” auties is hitting that memory. Hard. And I guess anyone pulling that particular crap from now on is automatically suspect in my eyes.

By: J

Sat, 16 Dec 2006 01:51:39 +0000

I don’t have a mental disability, I don’t have to deal with social services, and I’ve never had staff, so I’ve managed to avoid the vulture, but I’ve seen the other types. Even complete strangers feel justified in attempting to “help” me like this. Is it all assistive devices that attract them, or just mobility aids?

One thing I noticed was that I had a definite sense of this behavior as a child long before I could put a name on why it bothered me. Particularly the Do-Gooders, who seem drawn to children. At six and seven, my vocabularly didn’t quite run to words like paternalistic, but I had this definite sense of weird, creepy people who acted like they were entitled to control everything about me because they were being “helpful”. Since I couldn’t explain it rationally, most adults tended to side with the Do-Gooders (however I was fortunate to have exceptional parents), and my choices around those people frequently came down to letting people act in a way that seemed weird, bad, and wrong (not abusive, just no way to treat people), or complain and get treated like I was throwing a sensless tantrums.

Fortunately, people are less likely to treat physically disabled adults like that, and other people are less likely to dismiss a person’s ideas based on a physical disability. Because I think the main difference isn’t being able to express the objection, but having other people support your right to be treated with respect. I got the benefit of being considered increasingly worthy of respect by society as I grew up. Had I instead faced continual reinforcement of the Do-Gooder’s right to manipulate me and dominate my life, I’m sure I’d have considerable difficulty noticing it or remembering that there was anything wrong with that. Which is the problem in the post. It’s hard to keep noticing something that’s continuous.

By: L>T

L>T — Sat, 16 Dec 2006 01:09:07 +0000

NLN & berke^amorpha, What do you mean by the term plural community?

By: Ann

Ann — Fri, 15 Dec 2006 19:36:40 +0000

Coming from the perspective of a “staff” I dont hold much hope for them changing their minds. If communicating with Amanda live doesnt change their minds I doubt if anything else will. Some people are just so brainwashed into believing that if a person who cant speak then they cant think. Of course it could also be the power deal – too threatening to think that this person (Amanda)just may have more capabilities in certain areas than thry (staff) hsve.
In terms of staff relating to clients.Since reading this blog on a regular basis I go to “work” with the mindset of “If this person had access to and was allowed to write- would I be ashamed of him/her writing about their experiences and detailing what I have done that day?” So much of what you Amanda have written could easily be written by some people I relate to on a regular basis. I know that you have made a huge difference in my life and how I see people. I catch myself so often thinking “uh oh I’m being NICE” or “eyeballs EYEBALLS” or ” being unresponsive is not the same thing as ‘no one in there’ ” I would love to read some of your blogs to certain people but at this point I cant take the risk.
Also something to think about = there are agencies who will deliberately block staff who believe that someone is capable from working with “low functioning” people. The last thing they want is for one of their staff to become an advocate for their client. Sounds like thats whats happening to Amanda. Let’s keep her in her place and the easiest way to do that is to send staff who will sabotage everything she wants to do. If we send staff who will encourage her and push her to be the best she wants to be -oh my we will have to change our attitude ! Not only that but then others will follow her example and we wont be in charge anymore.
a recovering psuedo-ally –