Comments on: Disability-Institution Metaphor in a Dream

By: The Integral

The Integral — Thu, 03 Jan 2008 04:35:47 +0000

the victims in your dream could be metaphors…of lies being debunked.

Ann: more degrees than a thermometer…..ha ha ha! Love that phrase.

By: Melody

Melody — Thu, 13 Dec 2007 04:38:58 +0000

In the description, it made me think about how some people have blamed autistic self-advocates for the lack of services that they claim somehow made murder inevitable. I have had a number of trial dreams myself, usually having to do with my junior high, where I got blamed for being beaten up because I was autistic and had to expect that sort of thing if I kept rocking and having seizures and wearing non-designer jeans. ;)

By: ballastexistenz

ballastexistenz — Fri, 05 Jan 2007 20:47:21 +0000

That is definitely not what the dream was about. My mind is not that convoluted.

By: Alice M.

Alice M. — Fri, 05 Jan 2007 08:33:03 +0000

Something different struck me about the dream – though it’s yours so clearly you’re the one who knows the truth. Who were the victims of the murders in your dreams? In my own dreams of murders sometimes the victims are parts of myself I tried to kill off. I tried to shut those parts of myself down because I felt I couldn’t survive if I was so emotionally weak: I felt I had to kill the weak part.

I wonder whether there are parts of you you’ve had to suppress to survive what you’ve been through? Maybe now you are strong you can make room to be kinder to yourself: you have the resources to choose other ways to survive. Other people who have power over you can’t force you now to kill the parts of yourself which they found unacceptable. Instead you are there with all your allies to defend yourself, including the vulnerable parts.

I wonder if you have read Victor Frankl’s work? He had such a rich wisdom from his experiences of surviving a Nazi Death Camp.

By: shiva

shiva — Wed, 15 Nov 2006 08:45:45 +0000

Hi, first time posting on your blog. Can I just say I think it (the whole blog/site) is absolutely awesome – probably one of the most powerful and intelligent things i’ve read anywhere. Sorry, not feeling terribly good with language right now…

I have a blog myself, but it isn’t really being used at the moment, tho i’ve been vaguely planning for a while to revive it as a blog, partly inspired by yours, commenting on disability in general and autism in particular (I’m diagnosed Asperger but don’t really believe in a sharp distinction between the “various” conditions n the “spectrum”). Any tips on getting into the “disability blog world” would be welcome…

Anyway, the reason i’ve weighed in on this one is the mention of Kafka – I have, but haven’t yet read, “The Trial”, but have read “Metamorphosis” (the story about the man who turns into a cockroach), and i actually think, although probably inadvertently (as i don’t think Kafka was disabled, or knew anyone who was, unless someone has evidence to the contrary), it’s one of the best (if also darkest) fictional depictions of acqured disability out there – in fact, i recommend it to people who want to understand what society’s treatment of disabled people is like… dunno if anyone else interprets that story similarly?

Your “trial” dream also reminds me a lot of both “Nineteen Eighty-Four” and “One Flew Over The Cuckoo’s Nest” – two books that i think are still hugely relevant to the disability/institutionalisation issue today…

By: ballastexistenz

ballastexistenz — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 08:55:37 +0000

Ann: I don't think my brain is quite that complex with symbolism when it comes to coming up with dream material. My own suspicion is that it has to do more with specific incidents that match it more closely: One is being constantly told that I was something I was not, and did things I had not done, and being expected not to resist this interpretation. The other is a time when I did something I didn't fully remember and almost faced charges for it, while repeatedly being told I did in fact remember it. My horrified reaction to hearing a description of it (that I was, I guess, not "supposed" to be able to hear) was taken as evidence that I knew exactly what had happened all along and was horrified by that. (No, I did not kill anyone, but the assumption was that I was trying to, which is kind of strange considering what I was apparently doing.) It was eventually decided I was way too incompetent to have planned something like that and that charges wouldn't work because of that.

By: n.

n. — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 08:12:22 +0000

Oh, man, we gotta talk about Kafka one day. I actually nominated him to Muskie for the ALF library, partly becos a bit of Kafka is available in the gutenberg project.

There is another one about a guy who keeps trying to get in a door. Some of the institution and other discrimination experiences you describe are more like that one.
And there is one called “Der Prozess” – The Trial.

The one about the cockroach is about that he was feeling used by his family becos when he had to support them, he turned into a Useful Thing for them, not a person. At least that’s how it was described in the class I took. I don’t get it either, not right now. I need to read or re-read a lot of Kafka becos I forgot too much about the plots and the details.

By: tinted

tinted — Tue, 14 Nov 2006 01:27:04 +0000

I was thinking more of The Trial

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Trial

By: Ann

Ann — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 21:43:51 +0000

i’m not much for analyzing dreams -most of mine I figure are because I had too much piazza !! BUT the one thing that I thought of in going back and skimming over it was that you were actually a mass murderer – a killer of their lies ( how dare you reveal the secrets of life in an institution) destroyer of their ideas ( only perfectly healthy people should participate in society) disrupting the foundations that they built their safety on ( I dont want people like you to be in positions of authority and power especially over me)
Basically it was a trial that society sets up every day for any “disabled” person who dares to speak the truth about power. And of course they had to label you and term you a monster for trying to destroy the very foundation that they had built so much on. After all they (judges,lawyers etc at the trial) will lose all their power if “mass murderers” like you run around and scream “the emporer has no clothes”. So they have to do the oh poor me look at how you made me suffer. I will lose my job and my family and my prestige and everything else. and its all your fault. ” and of course they depend on society to feel sorry for them rather than facing the truth that their entire life is a pack of lies and manipulation and deceit.
Like I say I am in no way shape or form anything close to an professional analysts but thats what I thought of. I am realzing more and more just how threatened people are at the idea that someone they had termed “retarded” may actually have more intelligence than they have. Or at least use their intelligence in a way that shows a whole lot more maturity than these so called professionals who have more degrees than a thermometer!

By: ballastexistenz

ballastexistenz — Mon, 13 Nov 2006 16:03:44 +0000

I’ve read the thing about the giant cockroach, but I didn’t understand it.