The shape of my eyes has also drawn mixed reactions. It has been called “exotic”, which I find as icky and demeaning as the people who make more overtly prejudiced/nasty remarks.

Yeah, I have the big eyes thing going on as well, and have gotten a combination of reactions to it– some people have said it’s beautiful, other people have told me that it’s creepy. When I was younger, there were a number of people who got really angry with me because they thought I was staring at them in an insolent way, and some people seemed to think I was mocking them or deliberately trying to irritate them. None of which I was consciously trying to do. Some of the people I was accused of staring at I hadn’t done much more than glance at.

Apparently, something about my eyes also gives some people the impression that I’m “not all here.” This has been interpreted favorably, as “lost in thought,” or negatively, as “spazzing” (a word which, as applied to me, seemed to have connotations of thinking there was either nothing going on in my head or that I was absorbed in some ‘fantasy,’ and fantasy seemed to be regarded by a lot of people as just barely above not thinking at all).

I couldn’t write something directly pertaining to the post because I was still processing that idea about the dehumanizing first impression. I think it probably makes a lot of sense, I mean, it sounds like something humans do.

I think I used to be a little scared of some of the nonverbal autistics I knew (not sure why, unless I was nervous because of not knowing what to do) before I knew about my own autism. But I have some vague memories of getting along OK with 2 people I knew while I was in middle/high school, although I didn’t know how to communicate with them. One guy later got into facilitated communication, with his mother, and it was great for them except when people didn’t believe it was real, but this I only know from phone conversations that my mother had with her before they lost touch.

Right now if I see an autistic person, I sort of have mainly the same curiosity as when I see anyone who “looks interesting” (although, as I have learned from my students, many people are interesting who give off a “totally normal” vibe at first glance). I have met some aspies (other than my parents and husband) in real life and it was ok, but it would be interesting to meet some other autistics.

Here’s something curious: I am not a neatnik at all, I vacuum as seldom as possible, and (weather permitting) I do wear my clothes several times before washing them, etc. But I try to look and smell clean. And I was realizing that I judge people a lot on first impression if they and/or their clothes seem dirty, which given the previous statements, is totally hypocritical.

All the scientificati have done is confirmed what I could have (and probably did) be telling you time after time.

There is always in this world “us” “cosa nostra” and “the other” and I cannot say that autistics are any less implicated in this “original sin” for I see it in AFF and Grasp and indeed I cannot say I have never been guiltless myself, because from my position a tree is more human than human