I had the same problem when I was working at an inpatient treatment unit. I finally just quit when I realized that everything I was doing that I thought was any good was just being undone by the cruelty of other staff. I wish I had an answer for it.

Another way I’ve heard people use the term “process” has to do with the relationship between the therapist and client. When there is some wierd thing going on between the therapist and client, that remains unspoken, “process work” means naming that wierd thing and talking about it and figuring out a way out of it if that thing is harmful. It can also mean taking that thing as an example of what may happen in other relationships of the clients’, and using it as “practice” to help the client figure out how to get out of the wierd thing with other people.

It’s all kind of vague and abstract, so here’s an example. Sometimes with chronic callers (people who call once every couple of days) at the Crisis Center, there’s a thing that happens where the caller prefers to chat about superficial things than talk about emotionally-laden topics. The problem with this is that the volunteer can spend hours tying up the phone line chatting, while other people can’t get someone to talk to. So the volunteer tells the caller about this early on in the relationship. If the caller keeps slipping into “chat mode” whenever the volunteer broaches a topic that is too hard to talk about, the volunteer might make a “process statement” like this:

“I notice that whenever I bring up This Emotional Topic you have a tendency to change the subject to something less personal. We’ve talked before about how hard it is to talk about Emotional Topic, and how you wish you had someone to chat with. However, when we’re talking, if you don’t feel comfortable talking about things that are really bothering you, then it would be better to hang up and call back another time.”

Then the caller and volunteer might talk about WHY it’s hard to talk about personal stuff, and even possibly about how this might happen with other friends the caller talks to. They might talk about how this affects other relationships besides the one on the phone (although it is somewhat different, because it’s normal for friends to spend most of the time just chatting).

One problem with this whole idea is that a lot of people assume that if there’s a wierd thing going on between therapist and client, it’s because of the client’s issues, not the therapist’s. Ideally, the therapist would be able to examine this and be honest if it’s some personal thing of theirs that’s contributing to it.

Either way, the idea is that bringing these dynamics into the open in an honest, nonaccusatory way is better than letting them fester.

I think a good therapist should be comfortable recieving negative feedback from a client, like “You seem to be trying to convince me that you’re right about Some Decision, rather than letting me figure it out for myself.”

Finally, I think that “processing” and “process statement” is another term that gets used as a meaningless buzzword sometimes, kind of like “empowerment.”

On the other hand, I’ve found that it’s valuable for me to be able to “detach” myself from my emotions at times. This is basically as Alison Cummins describes in an earlier comment; I can recognize my feelings in a more abstract level than just feeling them. This allows me to strategize ways of changing them, if I want to. It also just plain allows me to remember that just because I happen to feel depressed, the depression is not WHO I am. Tomorrow it is possible that I can feel good. If I feel worthless, I am not worthless. I’m just having these feelings in reaction to something that happened. It’s hard to explain that in words, but it’s almost like the feelings are less damaging to your identity that way. Of course, it helps to be able to recognize when you’re “detaching” and “immediately experiencing.”

I had some things happen recently that make me ask why people with disabilities are not allowed to have emotions at all. One person was upset because they are leaving a situation that they have known a long time, and a supervisor remarked that “THEY are just reacting to the staff’s emotions.” Like there is not thought or self involved. And then when someone was hurting and crying, they were accused by people of just trying to manipulate a situation to their advantage. It wasn’t until a “wound” was found that it was even possibly considered that the person might actually be in pain.

These are non-verbal people, and it seems tthat because of it they are somehow seen as unable to be fully human- just input and output machines with a few quirks thrown in.

And as a person who is working with people who dehumanize people in this manner, what is one to do? It is never said meanly, more matter of factly, and I am left to think it would be to others benefit if I just shut up and treated these people the same way others do. But, that ain’t gonna happen.

It is just soemthing I wonder if you have written on previously and specifically.

This column is by Cheryl Lavin, someone who presumably is quite familiar with therapist cons and games, being a therapist herself. Ah, recursivity.