Comments on: What sorts of people I tend to relate to, identify with, etc. https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/2006/04/15/what-sorts-of-people-i-tend-to-relate-to-identify-with-etc/ Wed, 19 Apr 2006 06:12:45 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: ballastexistenz https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/2006/04/15/what-sorts-of-people-i-tend-to-relate-to-identify-with-etc/#comment-10966 Wed, 19 Apr 2006 06:12:45 +0000 http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=72#comment-10966 That’s similar to what happened to me, only it happened before adulthood. I was ‘gifted’, then I was ‘low functioning’, etc.

]]> By: Julian^Amorpha https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/2006/04/15/what-sorts-of-people-i-tend-to-relate-to-identify-with-etc/#comment-10965 Tue, 18 Apr 2006 22:12:17 +0000 http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=72#comment-10965 I have had the ‘interesting’ experience of going from being seen as a gifted child to a ‘slow’ adult (though admittedly this depends on who you’re talking to). Most of the skills that got me labeled gifted in the first place have either outlived their novelty value to others, are seen as fairly useless nowadays, or were simply instances of earlier-than-usual development, where the other kids caught up eventually. The one exception, perhaps, might be my writing abilities; I’m told I write clearly, which I assume is a good thing, but I’ve reached an age where my writing no longer appears precocious. (Additionally, I have the ‘bad habit’ of being able to imitate nearly anyone’s literary style, which rarely seems to be conscious on my part; I’ve been accused of plagiarism when I wasn’t even consciously aware that I was ‘plagiarizing.’) People do get terribly confused about what I can and can’t do, and have come up with very strange theories on why I can’t or won’t do certain things, most of which have little relation to what is actually going on inside my head.

]]> By: Rebecca Jebo https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/2006/04/15/what-sorts-of-people-i-tend-to-relate-to-identify-with-etc/#comment-10964 Mon, 17 Apr 2006 20:37:32 +0000 http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=72#comment-10964 When I was growing up, I loved spending time with my father, who
is not much of a talker. We would sometimes spend hours together
without saying a word. I just remember feeling so happy and
connected with him, so tuned in to the experience we call “life.”
It is difficult for me to have much of a relationship with
someone if we aren’t comfortable being silent together.

]]> By: Justthisguy https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/2006/04/15/what-sorts-of-people-i-tend-to-relate-to-identify-with-etc/#comment-10963 Mon, 17 Apr 2006 00:27:14 +0000 http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=72#comment-10963 Reading along that long list, I checked off somewhere between 12 and 14 of the descriptions which I think apply to me, to some degree. (more or less) I dunno if we could get along, were we to meet. I think I’m “mostly normal”, as I’ve written before. I am happy to read what you choose to write and post publicly, though I reckon we’ll probably never meet. What I’m trying to say here, I think, is that I think I have enough of the autistic sensibility to feel some of what you’re feeling and thinking, but not enough to understand everything you say and do, as you do.

Did that make any sense

]]> By: Julia https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/2006/04/15/what-sorts-of-people-i-tend-to-relate-to-identify-with-etc/#comment-10962 Sun, 16 Apr 2006 10:22:10 +0000 http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=72#comment-10962 A sense of all languages and all symbols as being foreign languages, and as continuing to be foreign languages no matter how superficially proficient we become at them. A sense, not philosophical but gut-level and often uncomfortable, that language and other symbol is a strained abstraction that we throw together over reality without ever touching it.

One of the most irksome things from my adolescence was spending time with someone I otherwise really liked, who asked me, “Do you think in words or in symbols?” and could not take “neither” for an answer.

As I’m getting to know more people on the autism spectrum on-line, this is one of the more vindicating things for me, that others share this “not language/not symbol” sort of thinking. We share a lot of other things, in terms of experience, but this is a fundamental part of who I am, not something that has been done to me by others.

]]> By: ballastexistenz https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/2006/04/15/what-sorts-of-people-i-tend-to-relate-to-identify-with-etc/#comment-10961 Sat, 15 Apr 2006 21:55:41 +0000 http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=72#comment-10961 Actually I know (and know of) a lot of people labeled “high functioning” who basically fit the description (the part that’s even autism-related, which not all of it directly is) above, too, as well as a lot of people labeled “low functioning” who don’t fit it at all.

But regarding the “institutional language” thing. I used a very abbreviated term for it there. I don’t know what else to call it. It’s like a system of signals that a lot of people develop when communicating to avoid being noticed (and possibly punished or separated) by staff, or else when communicating among people who are assumed not to communicate in the first place. I assume there’s several sorts of it, but I’ve certainly met people, in public, who seem to speak it, and were at least somewhat mutually comprehensible to each other. And I didn’t know them.

I’m purposely vague about precise details in most cases, because some people really need a means of communication staff can’t see. (Of course some other people really wish staff would notice they’re communicating, so it can go both ways.)

But I was surprised, after thinking that only I and other people who’d been there knew about it, to learn that there’s at least some knowledge of it among staff. Not that they necessarily know what the signals are, but I’ve seen several staff-perspective accounts of people who they discovered were close friends but didn’t ever see what they were doing to communicate, and speculating about exactly what it was. (For instance people who were distraught when separated from each other, and did better when allowed to see each other again, but staff hadn’t ever seen them communicating.) I’ve also started to find some descriptions from disabled people’s perspectives, of similar things.

It’s not universal to people who’ve been in institutions, either, I’ve just noticed some people develop it.  (It’s also often developed by people in less traditional institutions, special ed, day programs, anything where that kind of communication can be necessary.)

The best analogy I can think of, is how in classrooms children find ways of passing notes and whispering without the teacher noticing. It’s a similar thing only with higher stakes.

]]> By: Ann https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/2006/04/15/what-sorts-of-people-i-tend-to-relate-to-identify-with-etc/#comment-10960 Sat, 15 Apr 2006 21:39:58 +0000 http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=72#comment-10960 WOW. That helps me understand people with autism and others who have been
labeled “low functioning” a whole lot better. Question about the institutional
language. Is that something that is only for those who “have been there done that”
or can a atypical person learn it too ? I would want to mainly so that I can
communicate with some individuals who otherwise have no other means to communicate.
Is there something in the body language or is it more of an attitude?
I do sooo appreciate your blog. You really do need to get this published for those
of us who want to change our attitudes and ideas but have no clue what needs
changing ! I know I have drastically changed a lot of my thinking and concepts since
I started reading your blog and the links you have to it.

]]> By: zilari https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/2006/04/15/what-sorts-of-people-i-tend-to-relate-to-identify-with-etc/#comment-10959 Sat, 15 Apr 2006 20:10:09 +0000 http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=72#comment-10959 or instance perceiving my wrist brace not as a “wrist brace” but as a potentially bitable pattern of a certain texture and color and so forth. (No, not because of “weak central coherence,” because of a very different perceptual organization.)

Well, I definitely relate to this. I became “aware” that I thought this way at about age 20 and went through a really weird period of time in which I could not see how any one object was truly separable from any other object except in terms of “density” and “frequency” of certain characteristics. Basically, I’ve never seen objects as having an inherent property of “thing-ness” — that is, I see purpose more as something people assign to bits of matter than some fundamental aspect of the matter itself. For example, I don’t think a toothbrush has an inherent toothbrush-ness: it’s sort of a pattern of texture and appearance and it takes up a certain shape in space, but it isn’t until someone uses it for its “intended” purpose that it actually IS a toothbrush, in my mind.

]]>