Comments on: Why meetings are a problem. https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/2006/03/28/why-meetings-are-a-problem/ Sun, 18 Nov 2007 23:26:18 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.com/ By: ballastexistenz https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/2006/03/28/why-meetings-are-a-problem/#comment-10762 Sun, 18 Nov 2007 23:26:18 +0000 http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=62#comment-10762 Hmm. Hand-flapping makes my RSI worse. But maybe because mine is contributed to by a loose wrist joint which probably means flapping it just aggravates it more. Cool that it helps some people though.

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By: bargedweller https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/2006/03/28/why-meetings-are-a-problem/#comment-10761 Sun, 18 Nov 2007 22:27:17 +0000 http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=62#comment-10761 I was told by a therapist in Amsterdam to let my arms hang loosely and flap my hands as part of my treatment for RSI. I kept forgetting to do my hand-flapping, possibly because it had been drummed into me that hand-flapping is unacceptable behaviour. All the same, hand-flapping as a treatment for RSI is an interesting point to make to people who want to suppress hand-flapping as it doesn’t fit with their narrow view of what is OK.

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By: ballastexistenz https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/2006/03/28/why-meetings-are-a-problem/#comment-10760 Thu, 01 Feb 2007 15:14:45 +0000 http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=62#comment-10760 I don’t know, maybe. Most non-disabled people I know don’t have trouble saying “It hurts when you press there” and other basics. Which isn’t an anxiety problem. Also, most non-disabled English-speaking people I know don’t have trouble comprehending random everyday English unless they’re really drunk or something.

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By: Javik https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/2006/03/28/why-meetings-are-a-problem/#comment-10759 Thu, 01 Feb 2007 14:44:57 +0000 http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=62#comment-10759 Your experience with these doctors is completely normal even for people who do not have autism. We cannot all be experts with complex subjects like retirement funds and the stock market, and so the decisions people make are often more based on a feeling about it than any real understanding.

Setting up an IRA or money market account is full of hard to undestand decisions, which is why most people have an expert “fund managers” at big financial companies to handle it all for them.

Insurance is another deep rabbit hole that most people have hard time understanding. Annuities are a difficult concept.

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And this is why investment and insurance companies use slogans of stability “like a rock” and past stability, to help the uneasy confused investor to give lots of money to them.

The job of their annual report is not just to inform the people that can understand it, but also to exude an aura of confidence for those that do not understand but are investing in the company anyway.

For all the talk about charts and graphs, the stock market is mostly about emotion and feelings. Stock market bubbles and crashes happen because of regular people buying and selling on emotion, rather than thinking clearly about what they are doing.

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Your experience with these doctors is completely normal, though most of the “normals” around you are not willing to admit they sometimes experience the same uncertainty and anxiety that you do.

But I can see that if you have always been told to always question your abilities, then it seems like a much bigger problem.

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By: Linda Betzold https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/2006/03/28/why-meetings-are-a-problem/#comment-10758 Thu, 30 Mar 2006 15:47:00 +0000 http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=62#comment-10758 I want to thank you for being such an articulate and prolific writer. I am the mother of an autistic child. I love him and live with him, but I do not live in his world the way he does. You give me something to think about very time I read your blog. I hope it’s an insight into his world. And I’m so grateful for any insight, any glimpse. I so desperately want to understand, support and help him in ways that are meaningful to him. Thanks again.

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By: Joels https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/2006/03/28/why-meetings-are-a-problem/#comment-10757 Thu, 30 Mar 2006 13:31:00 +0000 http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=62#comment-10757 I’m actually surprised that people don’t get the “bashing the words against your brain” thing. That makes perfect sense to me. I’ve been learning german and had an oral exam today. It took a good 15 odd tries with “geburtstag” before it made any kind of sense at all.

“birthday” just isn’t a word I’ve needed enough to recognize easily.

Also, I’m glad that you found out the major problem with your hands is tendonitis. I hope they heal well :D.

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By: ballastexistenz https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/2006/03/28/why-meetings-are-a-problem/#comment-10756 Thu, 30 Mar 2006 12:45:00 +0000 http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=62#comment-10756 And there’s a certain group of people who, when confronted with something they have no analogue to in their personal experience, will decide anyone who talks about it is lying or ‘describing a normal thing in an unusual way.’

I’ve noticed that, and they will also tend to get offended if you say it’s not that. (I think some of them think it means we’re “trying to be unique and special” or something, not quite getting that we really do mean something different.)

With regard to listening during lectures, I find that the more I try to listen the more likely I am to fall asleep. But it’s certainly not that I’m not trying to listen, or that I am bored. (I noticed that I cannot sit through a normal church sermon without falling asleep, but I can usually easily sit through a more “boring” (by normal standards) Quaker meeting without falling asleep, something that as far as I can tell makes more people fall asleep. And I can fall asleep during sermon or lecture no matter how interested I am in it, even if it’s on my favorite topic I will still often fall asleep.)

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By: ballastexistenz https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/2006/03/28/why-meetings-are-a-problem/#comment-10755 Thu, 30 Mar 2006 12:39:00 +0000 http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=62#comment-10755 The outcome of the appointment was kind of typical. The doctor told me all about what kind of physical therapists I’d need to see, but didn’t tell me my diagnosis until I said something, only what my diagnosis wasn’t. It wasn’t until I said “…but wait a minute, don’t I need to see a doctor who can figure these things out first before you know what kind of physical therapy I can get?” before he impatiently told me that yes I have a repetitive strain injury and it’s tendonitis. (Which is what I suspected all along, but he hadn’t uttered even the “RSI” word let alone “tendonitis” the entire time, he’d been totally focused as far as anyone knew on carpal tunnel, which I didn’t think was the main problem if it was one at all.)

So then he did his usual enter-and-leave-before-I-can-ask-much routine, and I thought “Hey, if he diagnosed tendonitis without telling me, maybe he diagnosed the hand injury without telling me too.”

The nurse, when I asked, kept telling me how busy he was and how they couldn’t help my finger so it didn’t matter what was wrong with it. I told her it was my finger and I deserved to know what was going on with my own finger, seeing as it’s attached and everything. She told me it moved just fine so it didn’t matter. I told her it hurt so it did matter, and besides it was my finger and nobody was telling me about it. She still took awhile to agree to ask.

She said he’d discussed it with me before. I said “Yeah, all he told me was that it wasn’t a break or arthritis, he didn’t tell me what it was.” She said “Maybe he doesn’t know.” I said “I don’t know is at least an answer, he didn’t even give me that.”

Eventually came back with my chart, where she tried to show me a bunch of long words that basically meant “your finger is bent 20 degrees and won’t straighten.” I said “Yes, I kind of noticed that. Does he know why?”

She told me I wouldn’t understand part of the chart (which I did understand), and then she showed me the part where he said it was sprained. “Thank you. That’s all I had needed to know.”

“But we can’t fix it.”

“Really, that’s okay, I just wanted to at least know what your word for whatever went on in there was.”

(Note that if someone hadn’t been there with me, this conversation couldn’t have happened, because it took someone getting her to shut up long enough for me to type, which she didn’t want to do. She wanted to tell me what she wanted me to know, rather than what I wanted to know, for some bizarre reason, and tried to make me feel guilty in several ways for asking questions.)

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By: Anonymous https://ballastexistenz.wordpress.com/2006/03/28/why-meetings-are-a-problem/#comment-10754 Thu, 30 Mar 2006 10:26:00 +0000 http://ballastexistenz.autistics.org/?p=62#comment-10754 ….the experience of “banging the words against your brain” is something I often have difficulty in explaining to people. If you state that you can’t hear the words, that’s something that people can understand, but most people seem not to have a reference for “I can hear the words but not connect them to meaning.” In my experience, anyway. And there’s a certain group of people who, when confronted with something they have no analogue to in their personal experience, will decide anyone who talks about it is lying or ‘describing a normal thing in an unusual way.’

This kept tripping me up in school– everyone was willing to assume I was lazy or ‘absent-minded,’ and I couldn’t find the words to refute them. I think I tried to explain to someone when I was 10 or 11 that trying to force myself into a state where I ‘listened all the time’ was physically painful. The reaction I got was, though not in these exact words, along the lines of “Ha, ha, what a dramatist you are. Everyone gets bored having to listen to lectures, and that’s all you’re describing, getting bored, so just buck up and do what everyone else is doing.”

But there were times also when I found peace in release from the words being spoken around me having to make sense.

-Julian^Amorpha

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