Comments on: “I know who you are and I want that person back.”

By: Evonne

Evonne — Tue, 18 Mar 2008 17:32:11 +0000

Hey, Amanda — any way to get a hold of those other “changeling” entries you’ve written? The links you provided aren’t available anymore . . .

By: Debbie W

Debbie W — Tue, 11 Jul 2006 20:31:40 +0000

I’m a parent of an Aspie child, and I’ve held the perception that my child somehow froze in time and in many ways changed, became someone else. I have also come to theorize over time that part of the problem was with my own perception and expectation – reading way too much into the things he did as a baby.

I think you wrote a beautiful article, and one parents everywhere should read. We need our children to articulate their experience, and it is fantastic that in todays world this is being done. We parents have so much to learn and understand …

Thank you.

By: ballastexistenz

ballastexistenz — Wed, 26 Apr 2006 14:39:32 +0000

There’s actually two versions of “changeling”-type stories: One is the ones in which something non-human (demon, fairy, enchanted block of wood, whatever) is exchanged for something human. Another is in which a human mother is impregnated by the Devil.

The interesting thing to me was that CAN mixed the two changeling metaphors. They started out with “It’s like [kind of changeling #2],” then ended with “Because it seems like [kind of changeling #1].”

By: Gabe Ragland

Gabe Ragland — Wed, 26 Apr 2006 14:02:16 +0000

In “CAN’s Modern Changeling Tales”, the comparison to Village of the Damned is interesting. The children in that story were hyperintelligent, devoid of emotion and behaved like miniature adults. “Asperger’s”, anyone?

Wyndham, who wrote the book Midwich Cuckoos on which the original 1960 film was based, may have gone to school with some autistic kids and based it partly on that. Also the idea of a new race of blond superbeings who might erase those they deemed inferior was very much in the public mind when he was writing, right after WWII.

CAN used the trope and played the gut-level terror of every parent faced with the unexpected. Especially a child who appears to be smarter than them. It’s so “unchildlike”! That’s got to elicit a couple gadzillion in contributions right there.

Underneath it all is a fact making it even more interesting. The Midwich kids were not changelings. They were the offspring of human mothers by alien fathers. They did not replace real children: they were real children.

By: Ruth

Ruth — Tue, 04 Apr 2006 12:14:00 +0000

NT even do this to other NTs. How many fathers have forced their non-athletic sons to play sports because ‘you need to learn to be a real man’? I have a mix of princesses and rough-and tumble girls, and I would never try to force one to be like the other.

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 22:15:00 +0000

This is altogether too true. Another frustrating thing is when people start singing the praises of some psychiatric medication they’ve put their five-year-old on in terms of “It’s given me my real daughter back.” Laaa! *headdesk*

Astraea^Jay

By: Equilibrist

Equilibrist — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 15:24:00 +0000

My mother said to me: you seem to be getting more and more autistic!
She says she doesn’t recognose me anymore and wants the ”real me” back.
I don’t know how to deal with this kind of remarks and questions. It feels like she is blaming me for something I can’t help.

I think by myself: i seem to be more and more myself.
For the first time in years, I recognise myself, because my behaviour is more streamlined and more from within and more ‘me’ compaired to my neurological style, which is made up by autism etc.
When being myself means being more autistic, means in fact: being more disabled, I don’t know what to do.

When should I be ashamed of regression?
And what if regression means that I am being/becoming more myself?

By: Ettina

Ettina — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 13:28:00 +0000

One could claim that toddlers have a “behavioral regression” when they start saying “no!” all the time. “I want that biddable 1 year old back.” Or when they develop stranger/separation anxiety. “I want that friendly 6 month old back.”
I think I’ll include this sort of thing in my story. I’m writing a book and one of the characters, Vgos, is an NT from a land of autistic people. Her mother views her as having regressed at various points when she had the usual stages of NT development.

By: ballastexistenz

ballastexistenz — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 11:12:00 +0000

And often it’s the people who believe themselves to be *most* familiar with you who will try this.

I’ve noticed that. And I would not be surprised, myself, if my parents or brothers didn’t understand my recent test results either. I’m pretty sure we’re all operating not only under different versions of me, but different versions of what “disabled” means. (And if any of my relatives do read this, I’m not trying to slam you by saying this.)

By: Anonymous

Anonymous — Wed, 29 Mar 2006 07:39:00 +0000

I think this has less to do with the actual or illusory nature of ghosts per se than with the fact that most ‘normal’ people seem to be made uncomfortable at the idea that their ability to perceive another person’s true nature, character, and abilities has been inadequate, and some insist on attempting to warp the reality in front of them (i.e. the person) in order to placate their disturbed sensibilities, while denying to themselves that that’s what they’re doing.

I’ve certainly run into variants of this in other situations, which I’ve discussed briefly on my webpage– the business about “what happened to my friend/the person I know?” They *insist* upon believing that a) the ‘friend’ they knew was an actual person, or the true essence of one, and not just a constructed facade; and that b) ‘that person’ is still ‘in there somewhere.’

And often it’s the people who believe themselves to be *most* familiar with you who will try this. Family members often have an abiding desire to think that no one knows you better than they do– including yourself– and that, moreover, they need to protect you from any influence that would ‘confuse you’ as to who you ‘really were’ (tell a truth they didn’t want to hear). I suspect that if I had gotten my Disabled Student Services counselor to write an evaluation of me, and shown it to either of my parents (if my father were still alive, anyway), they would probably have sputtered and insisted that she was mistaken, that my report had been mixed up with another person’s, that the tests were wrong. Because they “knew” their “real daughter.” And they “knew” that this wasn’t her. And my mother is still vaguely refusing to acknowledge my relationship, even when it’s basically spelled out for her, because she “knows” her daughter is not gay. Therefore, any evidence to the contrary can be rationalized away as youthful rebellion, dalliance with a new identity, or having been led astray by someone who took advantage of me.

-Julian^Amorpha